Do you want friends? Do you want people to like you? Do you want success in both business and personal relationships? I believe everyone should read Dale Carnegie’s book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” because, not only does he give invaluable advice for dealing with others in both positive situations and strife, but the implementation of these tips yields far better rewards than many many self-help books can, because it gives you control over your dealings with people, teaching you how to handle yourself.
It is my opinion that the most powerful tool in a first impression is a smile, because it comes first. Not only does receiving a smile make you feel important and liked, it endears you to the other person because they seem friendly, down-to-earth, and approachable. The second-most powerful (and possibly almost as effective) is learning the other person’s name, remembering it, and using it often.
People love to hear their own name. I know I do! It communicates to them that you care enough about them to remember a key part of who they are. Especially for people who like the meaning of their name, it is a very personal part of them, and using it immediately elevates you to friend status.
It is, though, hard to remember other’s names, but it is possible. Jim Farley, an American politician in the mid-1900s, remembered the name of thousands of people he met. This surely greatly contributed to his popularity. Many of us meet less than 50 people in a day, and every one of those people would love to hear you say, “Katie? Nice to meet you!” or “Xavier? That’s an awesome name!”
Repeat it. Use it often. “So, Anna, how is school coming?” “What time did you wake up, Anna?” “Anna, I want to introduce you to my friend.” Instead of saying “she” when you’re both in a group of people, say their actual name. It feels cheap to be referred to as ‘her’ or ‘she’.
Never forget a name. Write it down, say it over again to yourself, ask for the spelling – anything you have to do to remember it. If you can develop the skills to remember a person’s given name, you will present a better first impression, which will lead to more friendships, deeper friendships, and even make the other people at the bus stop happy that you remember who they are.
I am going to implement both the “Smile!” and “Remember and use the other person’s name.” techniques. If you ask any of the people who know me personally, they will tell you I always have a smile on my face. It’s true! So I am going to focus more so on remembering and using other’s names, because that’s the one I need to work on.
Thanks so much for reading!
How do you feel when others use your name? Let me know in the comments!