Yes, I may be reading the Bible. Yes, I’m a lot nicer and more polite to my siblings. I’ve been getting better at honoring my parents. But my heart’s not right.
Yesterday we were all singing praise songs. I felt sad and moody and I could hardly sing because I was worried I would burst out crying! What happened? Exactly nothing!
I didn’t feel right. Now you may chalk it up to me only being able to play mandolin for one song. Maybe. But it felt bigger than that, like a stone in my stomach and a bees-nest in my head.
I thought back on the week. I only read the Bible when I had time. I still have a bit of a temper and a habit of acting quickly without thinking (even though I didn’t have bad intentions.)
I wrote this on my vision board last week. I had no idea how much I’d need it.
“Start with your heart.”
I was trying to do all the things, but my heart wasn’t in it. If Yeshua had come back during singing, what would he have found me doing? Sitting on my butt feeling sorry for myself?! Worrying about the future?! That’s not the way I want to live.
Take a pause. Are you trying to do ‘all the things’, but your heart isn’t in it? Are you exhausted from trying to be someone you’re not? Are you disillusioned or depressed with working and striving and never stopping to think about the whys?
I want to live each day like it’s my last. I need my heart to be soft and my spirit willing to do WHATEVER! I need to stop in the tough moments and take it to Yahweh. I need to give Yahweh the very best of myself and my abilities. Obedience. Hard work. Patience. A loving and soft heart.
As a huge milestone in my life approaches (my 16th birthday) I’m worried I won’t be ready or mature enough to deserve it, to shoulder the responsibility and the change that comes with it. I had so many goals for my 16th year, goals I haven’t completed, won’t be able to complete anytime soon.
It has to remind me to be worthy of each and every single day that God gives me. To use my time wisely, down to every hour. To live like each day is my last. When I feel Yahweh asking me, “What have you been doing, daughter?” I want to be able to confidently answer, “The work of The Lord.”
BeautifulYou Tip: Start with your Heart. Focus on the best and only reason to have inner beauty and a strong faith – Yahweh. Get yourself right with God … He’s coming back soon!
“Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour in which the Son of Man is coming.”Mathew 25:13, NKJV
I took a pause that day. I didn’t like what I saw in my life. I didn’t like that I wasn’t in it with my whole heart. So I started right then to fix my heart. I know it’s not going to happen right away – it’s going to take time. But I am going to do it. I won’t live a superficial life of exhaustion and striving. I’m going to love Yahweh my Elohim with ALL of my heart and soul and mind and strength.